Summer at Singapore

Hey Guys.. Kumusta naman ang Pinas? Kumusta naman ang mga pinaka mamahal kong kapatid? Ako eto hanggang ngayon feeling turista pa din dito.. Naghahanap at naghihintay pa din sa tawag ng mga inapplayan.. Hehehe.. Pray for me po sana mag ka work na kagad.. Dito ko na lang muna siguro ko kayo update habang wala pa work.. Mahal pantawag eh.. Hehehe.. Mahal ko kayo.. Hanggang sa muli..

moving on..........

ayun ayun...
after kong masaktan at maghintay...
kahit mukha na akong tanga...
nagtatry na akong maka pag move on...
totoong mahirap...
as in mahirap...
pero kailangan na talaga...
kahit masama, naghanap ako ng diversion, effective naman..
as of now, di ko na sya madalas maisip..

pero sa di maipaliwanag na kadahilanan, may mga panaginip
akong natatandaan, kung saan aking syang napagmamasdan..
nakangiti't hawak ang aking kamay..
masayang nakikipag kwentuhan...
di ko din alam kung bakit...
pero di ko din maintindihan, ang panaginip ba'y may kinalaman sa
realidad? kabaligtaran o katuparan?

maaring sa aking pagising pinipilit kong di sya ang aking isipin..
ngunit ang katotohana'y sa aking pagtulog aking sya'y hinahanap...

ok lang.. siguro.. darating din ang araw.. kahit sa panaginip ko..
wala na ang larawan ng kanyang mukha.. at sa pagising ko..
wala na din ang sakit na aking nararamdaman twing sya'y aking makikita..

kaya yan... kaya... kaya.... i really have to move on..
(hahaha... sabay ganun...) thanks sa mga tulong ng mga kapatid ko
at ilang kaibigan... unti unti.... makakaya na to...

Date??

ayokong sabihing date yun..
baka sabihin assuming ako masyado..
geneto nalang.. lakad barkada.. kahit dalawa lang kami.. hehe

di ko talaga alam kung sasama ako sa kaniyang umalis..
pero at the end.. di ko napigilan sarili ko..
nacurious ako.. ano kaya ang feeling na kasama ko tong tao na to..
ngayong alam na nya na gusto ko siya..
kaya ayun..

nung nakita ko sya.. at nakita din nya ako..
nakita ko sa mga mata nya..(sya ba to? sana hindi)
haha.. pero no choice siya.. ako talaga ang kameet nya..

ayun.. di ko alam kung ano magandang panoorin na movie..
wala kasing maganda.. but i insist na manood kami.. kasi in that way..
kahit wala kaming pinaguusapan.. magkasama kami..
magkatabi...

nilalamig na ako.. nanginginig kamay ko...
so kinuha ko kamay nya... nakita ko nanaman sa mukha nya(bakit?)
haha... parang ayaw bigay.. pero binigay din nya... hiniwakan ko kamay
nya na parang ayoko ng bitiwan..
pero as the movie ends.. kailangan ko na ding bitiwan kamay nya..

tapos.. niyaya ko syang kumain.. sa KFC kami kumain..
ayun... nakapagusap kami.. puro sya kalokohan...

then i realize.. hanggang kalokohan lang talaga lahat para sa kanya..
yung mga sinasabi nya sa phone... madali kong pinaniwalaan..
pero habang kausap ko sya ng personal.. iba nakikita ko...

ako na nagyayang umuwi.. nasasaktan na kasi ako.. sabi ko sa sarili ko..
eto na siguro to.. gumising ka na.. nakita mo na... wag ka ng maging tanga..
so ayun.. dahil plastik ako.. nakangitit parin ako habang kausap sya..

ng makasakay na ako sa fx, binasa ko txt ng isa sa mga kapatid ko..
tapos dumating txt nya.. nag thankyou sya..
ang inisip kong unang replyan ko eh yung kapatid ko..
"gising na ako.. di ako iiyak.. mahal ko talaga ang kumag..
pero nakikita kong di nya ako kayang mahalin"
pero ang katangahan ko.. sa kanya ko pala na send hindi sa kapatid ko..

nagreply sya..
"wag mo na kasing mahalin ang kumag.. nawrong send ka"

ayun... lumabas din.. dahil sa simpleng pagkakamali ko..
naamin din nya na wag ko na syang mahalin.. maybe because di nya
ako kayang mahalin...

in a way... nakatulong din yun paglabas ko kasama sya..
dahil pag naiisip ko sya.. nasasabi ko na ngayon sa sarili ko..
"tama na.. wag ka ng umasa.. tama na yung isang araw na nakasama mo sya"

pero thanks pala sa kanya... libre nya yung sine at dinner.. haha..
nahiya tuloy ako... pero nung tinanong nya ako kung masaya ako....
sinabi ko ang totoo, masaya ako.. pero may part sakin na malungkot..

tapos ayun.. ngayon.. pinipilit kong wag syang itxt.. hehe..
kaya ko yan.. kaya..... kaya..... ",

mahal kayo ni winter

haayyy..
this past few days.. i'm in my darkest days of my life...
masyado akong down.. natatakot akong sabihin kela spring and summer..
dahil ang rason ng pagiging down ko ay ang taong ayaw nila para sakin..

isang taon na ng makilala ko kayo.. nakilala ko din ang taong di ko expect
na magugustuhan ko.. na mamahalin ko.. pero that time..
alam kong napaka imposible na magustuhan din nya ako..

hindi dahil hindi ako maganda.. kundi mahal nya ang isa kong kapatid..
nasaktan ako kahit walang karapatan nang magkabalikan sila..

sabi ko sa mga kapatid ko.. ok na ako.. wala sakin yun..
pero pag wala na sila , pag di na sila nakatingin..
patuloy parin akong nasasaktan..

sinubukan kong magkaroon ng relasyon sa iba..
pero in the end.. hindi ko din pala totoong minahal..
siguro natuwa lang ako sa atensyong binigay nila sakin,
na hindi mabibigay ng taong mahal ko..
yup yup.. mahal ko.. di ko alam.. patuloy ko parin syang minamahal..

nagkaroon kai ng clan, nakasali dun yung mahal ko..
in my own simple ways.. pinapakita ko na mahal ko sya..
pero di talaga umubra.. sabi ko titigilan ko na..

hanggang dumating yung araw na nagbiro sya na may gusto sya sakin..
kahit alam kong di totoo, kahit pilit kong sabihin sa sarili kong wag maniwala..
pero umusbong ang hope sa puso ko kahit ayaw ko..

dumating yung time na sinabihan ko sya na
tama na ang biro dahil naaapektuhan na ako..
pero ng nakausap ko sya..
balak nyang seryosohin.. naniwala ako..
umasa. wala akong magawa.. tanga lang.. at totoong mahal ko sya.

madami syang nasabi na matagal ko ng gustong marinig mula sa kanya..
akala ng iba biruan lang ang lahat.. pero samin seryoso na..
isang buong araw akong naging masaya.. halos di ako makatulog..
naghihintay ng kinabukasan para magising na sya at makausap ulit..
pero di na sya nagparamdam.. ilang text ang pinadala ko..
pero walang tugon ni isa..
tanghali na.. ng malaman kong nakipagbalikan sya sa "X" nya..

nasa hospital ako that time.. at feeling ko.. literal na huminto ang lahat ng bagay..
masyado akong nasaktan.. kasi umasa ako.. pero di ko magawang magalit sa kanya..

unang nakaalam si autumn. pero pinakiusapan kong wag sabihin sa dalawa pa.
natatakot kasi akong kausapin ng dalawa yung isa.. at magkagulo..
mag-away.. at maging dahilan ng pagquit nung isa..
ayoko.. kasi para sakin.. yung clan nalang ang connection ko sa kanya..

pinilit kong hindi ipahalata kahit kanino.. pinilit kong magmukang masaya sa text.
pero ang totoo, umiiyak ako habang nagtitext..

pero august 17 ng gabi.. nakumpleto kami, plus dalawa pang bagong ampon(hehe)..
kahit umuwi na ako.. bumalik ako sa trinoma.. makasama lang sila..
nagsuot ulit ako ng maskara na magtatago sa kalungkutan ko..

pero nasa isang lugar kaming lahat.. hawak ko sila.. di ko na napigilan..
masarap sa pakiramdam na yakap ka nila.. na naiilalabas mo sa kanila lahat
ng saloobin mo.. salamat sa balikat at akap.. it really helps me alot.

sanggang kinabukasan.. nakatulog ako.. sa panaginip ko.. umiiyak parin ako..
pero nakakatuwa.. isa sa kanilaang nasa panaginip ko.. at umakap parin sakin..
hinayaan lang akong ilabas sa kanya lahat ng sama ng loob ko..
ussuallty, hindi ko natatandaan mga panaginip ko..
pero iba yun.. tandang tanda ko.. dahil hanggang paggising ko.. umiiyak ako..
pero masaya akodahil naalala ko yun.. dahil alam kong mahal nyo ako..
kahit miserable ako..

i don't know how to thankyou guys.. hindi ko din mapapangakong
makakalimutan ko sya.. na hindi na aasa.. ang mapapangako ko lang..
andito din ako.. dito balikat ko. at mga payat kong brasong
handang umakap sa inyo.. mahal ko kayo... wag nyong kalimutan yan..
kahit minsan na pinagagalitan ko kayo.. concern lang ako..
mahal kayo ni winter...............................................................................

Summer holds..

I was hopeless, wanting to save my relationship but it turned out to be another failure. We'll I guess relationship is'nt really for me.. Ganun talaga, you cant be succesfull in every field. Thanks for the special friends who always makes me smile.. For every moment that we shared, I will always cherish all of those.. Last night lalo ko naramdaman yun! I was not in the mood heading to Araneta Center but after learning na kumpleto Seasons.. Na touch ako! This is one night I will never forget. Naramdaman ko kung gano nyo ko kamahal.. Kung gano kahaba ang pasensya nyo sakin.. Syempre lalo ngayon nadagdagan ang circle of friends with Gelo and Tryke.. Hoping to touch your lives in our simple way. Seasons will always be seasons but its better having you guys around! For Gelo and Spring.. I hope everything works good for both of you! For tryke, you always make your boys cry! Hehehe.. Isang smile lang tunaw na sila! For Rygel and Artie, dadating din yan! Sigurado ako! You all deserved to be loved and happy! As for me, I will prefer to be single and try to know more about me as of the moment.. Yan tuloy di ko alam kung papano tatapusin to. Kayo kasi, you always makes me emotional.. Love you all!

Here Comes Summer

Teka lang ah. bwelo muna.. I dont know how to start this one.. Hinga ulit malalim.. Before kasi okay na ko magbasa nga mga Blogs nyo.. Ngayon kelangan ko na din mag post? hehe.. Autumn, Winter and Spring.. Salamat sa mga comment nyo! Mayabang pala ah.. Suplado at Concieted pa ha? Ano pa huh? But seriously I appreciate those kinds of Critics (tama ba spelling, bobo ko eh.) I mean specially coming from the three of you! Kasi alam ko kayo ang mas nakakakilala sakin! Alam ko that you guys care about me thats why sinasabi nyo yun and yun din ang ginamit ko to change for a better Rain/Amben now! I know I can always be independent but life is is much easier when Im with you guys! or should I say Gurls? Peace!

Here we go..

Autumn.. Always a good friend! Willing to help and listen anytime! Yun nga lang wag mo expect na di ka tatalakankan nyan! Things that you'll surely miss pag wala ka narinig na sa kanya! Hes the type na mahilig mag joke, minsan di siguro nya alam nag jojoke na sya! Mga simpleng banat na kahit me sakit ka or me poblema ka mapapangiti ka! Naalala ko pa, nung first time nakita ko to, gustong gusto ko lapitan at kausapin kaso me bantay! I even asked a friend (ay teka hindi na pala.. hehe.) "kelan ba sila maghihiwalay"? Ang sama ko no? Committed kasi sya that time.. Pero I think God has better plan for us and I am thankfull na ngayon hindi lang sya isang crush! Di lang din simpleng kaibigan! Hes more than a brother! Tama si Spring and Winter! Sya pinaka insensitive pero mararamdaman mo talaga pagmamahal neto! I always believed in you Autumn! I will always be here! Walang makakasakit sayo!

Winter.. hindi ba ang totoong suplado sating apat? Naku minsan talaga natatawa ako pag pinag sasabihan ako neto pero pag wala na sya at naisip ko mga sinasabi nya.. Sobrang laki ng impact sakin! Sa sobrang dami na siguro nagawa sa buhay, kaya madaming na share samin! Things you'll never expect from a forzen hearted guy daw! (Bobby ohhhh...) Yeah, laro kung laro pero di mo kakayanin pag nagseryoso to! Para akong nauupos na kandila pag naririnig ko umiiyak ang bunso namin dati! Salamat! Kahit ilang ulit sabihin yung word na yun, di pa din matutumbasan yung mga bagay na napa realize mo sakin! Walang iwanan please?

Spring.. Hi Brooke.. Oist tsismis na naman yan! Haha! Madami talaga mga bagay na unexpected! Minsan kahit mahal mo ang isang tao, di mo maiwasan masaktan sya but this guy made a difference in me! He never let me fall kahit ako me malaking kasalanan! He never let me go! Mahirap pero ginawa nyang madali! Ngayon ko lang nasabi to.. I never had a chance.. Pero eto pa din kami.. Magkapatid! at yung ang di ko kaya na mawala pa! Too much for him, I guess its my time to tell you, "I'll never let you go"! Sis!

Walang magbabago! Walang iwanan! Sana.. Hate to think mangyayari yun.. Te Amo Seasons!

winters' memories

At magpapatalo ba ang bunso...

don't think so.... hahaha

how i wish na sana hindi ako kailangang umalis..

i want to be you 3 for the rest of my life.

(pero syempre hiwalay ng bahay

samin ng magiging asawa ko)

madalas man akong magtampo sa inyo..

kasi feeling ko since ako ang pinakabata,

parang walang ako boses..

di kayo nakikinig kung may payo man ako..

bakit matanda lang ba pwedeng magpayo..

sige nga autmn payuhan mo na nga kami...

wahahha... love you autumn..

di ko makakalimutn part ng life ko yung pghihintay

sa result ng board exam ko..

we're expecting na 1 dy lang after ng last day ng exam lalabas na.

so halos every night gising kami..

si autumn.. every hour my quick count sa pc nila para check..

si spring.. maya maya magtxt na wala pa.

si summer since malapit lang ang PRC sa kanila check kung check sa guard.. hehe

then yung day or rather night na lalabas na yung result,

nasa galaan si autumn.. tapos tinext ko na sila.. napauwi si autumn..

kasi sira pc ko.. kasya sila lang makakapagcheck..

3 am di pa lumalabas ang resut sa net.. pero todo bantay na..

"this is it! this is it!" wika nga ni spring..

4 am.. naghanap talaga ako ng dyaryo..

pero wala parin yung result..

may lumabas na result sa INQ.net,

pero wala dun name ko.. nalungkot naman kami..

nalungkot naman sila... (natouch talaga ako)

then, mga 5 am tumawag si autumn.. tinanong nya whole name ko..

at pasado nga # 210.. haha natuwa kami.. conference naman agad..

tilian at sigawan sa sobrang saya..

napaluha na din ako nun.. kasi di ko talaga expected na papasa ako..

pero ngayon.. Registered Radiologic Technoogist na ako..

thanks sa inyong tatlo.. yung mga times na nalulungkot ako sa sobrang kaba..

lagi kayong nandyan para magpalakas ng loob ko..

i knew it... napaka swerte ko na nakilala ko kayong tatlo..

di man halata.. pero mahal na mahal kayo ni winter..

at kahit saan man ako o kayo mapunta.. hindi mawawala ang seasons...

hindi mapapalitan.. dahil ang seasons ay sesons...

"ang ibat-iba nating pagkatao ang bubuo sa isa
at ang isa ay tayong apat.."

Lovingly yours, Spring

I don't know how to start this letter, lalo pa't nakakasama ko naman kayo almost every week. Magkwento na lang siguro ako nang kahit ano pumasok sa kokote ko.

Lately, napansin niyo naman siguro na medyo preoccupied ako. Ang dami nangyari sa kin.. from the point na magbreak kami ni M 'till the point na magkaissue kay B at siyempre, yung issue about my family.

I don't know yet how to put things in their right directions... pero maybe this is the time that I need to make a stand - after all, dun rin naman yun pupunta. Hay... Goodluck talaga sakin sa Sabado!

Autumn, at first I must admit hindi ikaw yung tipo na makikihalubilo sa isang hamak na katulad ko. The first time I joined the TA group, I always see you as part of a circle of friends tapos ako nasa isang sulok, nakatameme...tahimik lang, kulang na lang abutan ng barya. Ü Pero siyempre, iba na ngayon... sa ating apat, ikaw ang tumatayong Guardian (literal na Guardian ah)! Lovelife wise, career wise, maturity of life - madalas dumedepende kaming tatlo sa 'yo. We all look up to you! Kaya your decisions, most often than not, do make sense. Minsan, nafifeel ko na you always want to be with others kahit pa andiyan na kami - kumpleto tayo. Seloso ako kaya madalas hindi na lang ako umiimik. Minsan iniisip ko, its not Summer who is insensitive - si Autumn. Minsan gusto ko na magtanong..."seryoso kaya sila pag sinasabi nilang plastic ako, do they really mean it?" Ewan ko ba pero ako, mas masaya talaga ako kahit tayong apat lang ang magkakasama - no great walls, no secrets, no hooks! Bulgaran talaga! Hubaran ng pagkatao! Bastusan! Barubal kung barubal... pero at the end of the day, yun pala ang namimiss ko. Sa ating apat, sorry pero si Autumn ang pinakamatalino! Masikreto nga lang... Hehe! It was not Winter who is timid, si Autumn pa rin yun - pero pag bumanat yan, hala lagot! For sure may kasunod ng Patrol yan. Naaalala mo pa ba ang Baguio escapade natin (ay namin pala kase inunahan mo kami...haha). Autumn, you always make sense to me. Whatever that is, siguro tama ka nga... i'll just accept you kahit ano pa 'yun. Mahal kita eh.. yun kasi yun! Huwag mo ko iwan Autumn ah..Labs ka ni Spring eh. Ü

Winter, hindi ku maalala na kasama ka pala sa Pool Party ng TA sa Laguna until nakareceive ako ng invite sa TA... so happen na naging member ka rin that time. Pano na nga ba uli tayo naging close? Oo na sige na... I was clueless then kung sino si Artie nun...Pero I must admit, ikaw ang una kong naging close among all others. Ewan ko, siguro kasi pareho tayong my dugong Kabalen. Mekeni! Mekeni! I never thought na magiging ganito tayo kaClose. Isa ka pa! "Do you really mean it pag sinasabihan mo kong plastic?". Hahahaha...natatawa talaga ako pag may bago tayo nakita taz bulungan na tayo...inookray na yung tao. Hahaha..so mean! Eh yung eksena ka Mike ni Autumn...naaalala mo pa ba? Hahaha..muntik ka na ba mawiwi nun sa takot? Eh yung habol ng habol sa tin sa isang bar sa may Shaw? At nakita natin yung Dean ng school mo sa...ahem.. ahem.. Badtrip nun! bulilyaso ang lakad! Sayang ang miles! Hmfpt! Amongst the four of us, ikaw nga ang pinakabata pero ikaw naman ang pinakamaraming experience. Hanep, saan ka man mapunta...nagugulat na lang ako at may kakilala ka.. at siyempre, may magic spiel ka..."bago lang ako dito" o kaya naman "ahem..ngayon lang ako pumunta dito". Ching* Pero lahat ng ito hinahanap-hanap ko. Specially during those days na medyo busy ang lahat tapos wala munang time para magkita-kita tayo. Buti na lang wala ka pa sa Ireland/Canada! Tama si Autumn, you're one of the sweetest (but i am the most! hahaha..ayaw talaga patalo!) Mahirap na siguro makahanap ng isang Bunsong katulad mo! If Autumn was the Guardian, ikaw naman ang Guradian Angel of the Devil.. wala lang! Btw, napuyat talaga ako nang husto during those times na may quick count tayo regarding your Board Exam! Eng eng ka.. Pero I must admit... it was an achievement nung makita ko name mo on the list! It's all worth the puyats! Alam mo naman... whenever you're happy, we are too! Sooner or later, or maybe someday... nasa Ireland/Canada ka na! Ganun talaga, magkakahiwalay tayo. But when the time comes, never let go of the good memories! Lahat ng ito, we will cherish! I love you, Bunso! Ü

Summer, among the 3 of you...you're the least i am expecting to be close with. Eh pano ba naman - mayabang! feeling! conceited, kala mo kung sino! weird! suplado! Mga badets kasi kayo eh..hmfpt! Pero heto tayo ngayon...tinatawanan na lang 'yung mga yun. Ü Kasi I get to know you more, I get to know who really Summer is (diba Brooke? hahaha...erase! erase! erase!). Hindi mo talaga malalaman ang ugali ng isang tao until you reach to the point na lagi mu siya nakakasama. I'll stand to prove them wrong pag sinabihan ka nila with those words; they should know you better! Naaalala ko pa ang mga...! ching* wag na lang! Hehehe (hay naku for sure tumatawa si Autumn at Winter sa part na 'to). Sa ating apat, ikaw naman ang pinakaResponsible (aside from the fact na ikaw ang heartthrob...kuna paramihan lang ng EXs...aysows...panalong panalo ka!)..Kung meron man siguro na kilala ko ang pagkatao... ikaw yun! I mean the family background, and all. Thank you for sharing those to me, and I mean it! At ikaw naman pala si Guardian Devil of the Angel, kasi yung mga mababait napapasama mo! Hehehe..peace! I must also put credit dun sa sinabi ni Autumn na "you've changed"! Sobrang ibang-iba ka na talaga ngayon. Dati ni hindi ka malapitan..Aba! at ikaw na mismo ang lumalapit ngayon! San ka pa... Saan man tayo mapunta, I will still seek for you! Ang sarap ng pakiramdam pag inaakap mo na kami. You made us feel na you're proud of being with us - being part of us. Mainitin ang ulo mo kaya nga lagi tayo nagaaway, pero we just laugh at it at the end of the day. Hindi ko rin matitiis na mawala ka. Susmaryosep, hindi na kami makakahanap ng 6footer and bulol at baluktot ang dila! hehe Ü Ok na kami na ganyan ka ah...wala na masungit! We love you for who and what you are right now. 'pag iniwan mo kami...sige lang! magkakamatayan na tayo! Ay-ayatenka Summer! Ü

Summer in Autumn's Eyes

Summer is the one I've known the longest. Although last year lang kami naging close, I've been hearing a lot about him even before ko sya nakita. I guess it not wrong to say that Summer is the most controversial Season :p

Daming kwento about Summer, like there was a clan that disbanded because of him, madaming nagkakagusto sa kanya, etc. etc. It's not his fault that people are attracted to him. Naiinis ako dati bakit masyado syang conscious of what other people think of him lalo na pag hindi totoo. Pero naintindihan ko na din na pag lagi ka pinaguusapan and gossip is mostly false, you have to protect your reputation.

Summer is the one who has changed the most. Dati sobrang intolerant of other people sya. Pag ayaw nya sayo, ayaw talaga. Mayabang na suplado pa. But now, kitang kita yung difference - He was always kind to the Seasons - but now mas tolerant siya of others.

Swerte yung mga taong Summer considers as a friend. I never understood before bakit madami nagkakagusto sa kanya, I mean kahit na goodlooking ka pero masungit naman... :p pero once pala naging close mo si Summer and you see how sweet and caring kaya nya maging whether to his friends or partner you'll really feel special. (PS: tama si Spring. Pag inakap ka ni Summer matutunaw ka talaga... kasi hindi sya plastic kaya pag nag pakita sya ng caring totoong totoo yun)

He always says He's insensitive.... The Seasons know that's not true.

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting
and autumn a mosaic of them all.
-Stanley Horowitz

Winter in Autumn's Eyes

Si bunso. Kung isa lang sa kanila makakasama ko on any given time, it has to be Winter. If i spend the day with Spring, parang naiilang ako kasi hindi ko alam kung ano talaga ang gusto nya - agree nalang ng agree; pag si Summer naman lagi kami may debate. Kay Winter parang balanced - we argue about somethings and sinasabi nya kung anong gusto at ayaw nya.

Sya yung heartbreaker. Ewan ko ba, in the one year that I've been with them, si Winter ata mataas ang percentage ng napaiyak. At sya din ang kung saan saan na nakapunta! Laro kung laro but serious when serious.

I can't forget those few days na inaantay namin yung results ng board exams ni Winter. Parang mas tense pa ata ako (well si Spring ang pinaka kabado) kesa kay Winter. Envious ako nun, Wish I had that support when I took my boards :)

Even if he's the youngest, he's the one who usually brings the other 3 of us to our senses when things are going out of control. The voice of reason at yung peacemaker - that's Winter.

By the way, don't believe him when he says his heart is frozen :p

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting
and autumn a mosaic of them all.
-Stanley Horowitz

Spring in Autumn's Eyes

Among the 3, Spring is the one I think I know the least about and also whom I least understand. Kahit marami syang comments about others, sya yung taong papayag nalang s gusto ng iba to avoid conflcts and confrontations (pero madami syang comment). Nakakainis sa kanya ay clueless ata sya about the people na nagkakagusto sa kanya. Although Summer appears to attract more people, in reality equal sila ni Spring. Summer is the type that people stare at and try to catch the attention of while Spring is the type that people steal glances at.

Short term memory talaga sya pagdating sa faces & names. If you're one of those Spring can't recall, don't take it personally. You have to do something extraordinary to get remembered :p

Among the 4 of us, sya yung hopeless romantic. I think Spring still believes in "happily ever after" (I know cynical ako). As a friend, you can't count on him to point out your mistakes instead those mistakes are overlooked and you're still accepted irregardless of them.

You know I'm not the kind of friend who can just sit quietly by your side nor am I good at listening (si winter ata yun). But the friendship is cherished and appreciated.

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting
and autumn a mosaic of them all.
-Stanley Horowitz

Refusing to Lead

I know there were many things I said that hurt. Most of them unexpected. That's one of my weaknesses... I never learned how to function properly in group activities and projects if I was in a leading role.

Its easy for me to follow instructions and complete tasks assigned to me, but if i'm the one assigning tasks that's a completely different story.

Elementary... High School... same thing. That's why when I entered college I avoided joining any organization and I rejected any position aside from being a member if I did join.

I'm sorry for the way I acted.

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting
and autumn a mosaic of them all.
-Stanley Horowitz

buhay

sa buhay, dumarating mga bagay na kala natin...

ayun na magdadala satin ng kasayahan..

pero patuloy parin tayong naghahanap ng mga

bagay na inaakala natin maduduot satin ng

matinding kasayahan..

hanggang isipin natin na iwan na ang unagng nagpasaya satin...

madami tayong hinahangad.. na di na natin napapansin ang mga bagay

na hinahanap natin, nasa atin na pala...

SUMMER, madaming naiingit sayo.. magandang mukha, tindig nalalong nagpapakita na ikaw ay ikaw.. di man nila napapansin.. o hindi man nila alam na meron kang napakaganda ding kalooban..at nagpapasalamat ako.. kami... na naparamdam mo ang kabutihan mo samin..

SPRING, matalino ka.. wala kang dapat baguhin kung ano ka ngayon..alam namin na ang mga bumabagabag sayo ang dahilan kung bakit mopilit binabago kung ano ka.. pero tulad ni summer... ikaw ay ikaw.. alam namin sa likod ng iyong mga ngiti, nagtatago ang takot..pero sana, alalahanin mo.. andito kaming mga kapatid mo, di mo kailangang magtago samin.. dahil handa kaming hawakan ang yong kamay at iyong maging gabay..

AUTUMN, hindi nagtatagal ang kagandahang pisikal.. kahit pag pilitan ko na ako ang pinakamabait satin.. alam naming ikaw iyon..ang iyong mga pananaw sa buhay, na patuloy na nagbibigay ng liwanag sa aming mga isipan,ang mga simpleng hirit mo, na talagang kahit lumbay ay napapawi..mga ngiti mong laging nagbibigay samin ng inspirasyon.. na mganda ang buhay kahit ano man o saan man kami naroroon...

ako'y patuloy na nagpapasalamat..

hindi ko kailangan ng magandang tindig..

hindi ko kailangan na maging matalino..

at hindi ko din kailangang maging sobrang bait...

dahil meron na ang mga kapatid kong seasons na mga ito..

"ang ibat-iba nating pagkatao ang bubuo sa isa

at ang isa ay tayong apat.."

One More Chance

This is the first movie we've watched altogether...

ONE MORE CHANCE

It’s about how true love waits for, hopes for and needs one more chance…

The moment I saw the trailer of a Filipino movie called One More Chance, I already knew it would end up in my blog. I rarely feature filipino dramas or movies in here primarily because very few offer any English subtitle. I am so happy that the DVD versions of the recently released films from big production companies are already subtitled. This movie is set to be released next month.
The movie stars John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo.

In a nutshell, it’s a love story of two people who are in a relationship for 5 years but she found out that she needs to end it to find herself. He begs her not to leave him but she didn’t listen. Then he moved on, butnot without having a hard time trying to get her back first and then when nothing is working, he let her go. In the process of finding herself, she realized that she can’t go on living without him so she tried to get him back only to find out that someone else is taking care of him.

The dialogue lines are heart wrenching that left me sighing…

She said: “Ten years from now, do you think we will still be like this?”
He said: “11, 12, 13, 14 forever and ever!”
She said: “Promise?”
He said: “Promise!”
When love ends…
He said: “Five years, you will throw it just like that?”
She said: “I need to do this. You also need this.”He said: “But, you are the one I need.”
She said: “I don’t even know if what I’m doing is right anymore, but what I know is that I need to end this.”
He said: “Basya, do you still love me?”
She said: “Popoy, I’m sorry…”
If you still can fix it, try, but if this is really what both of you need…then just be strong, it will be hard and painful but hopefully all the pain would be worth it…
How long should you hold on…
He said: “Five minutes…just five seconds…promise”! 1…2…3…4…please…5
How soon should you let go…
He said: “Bas…”
She said: “Popoy, this is Mark, my new officemate. Mark, this is Popoy.”
Mark: “Hi, I’m Mark.”
He said: “Not so nice to meet you. Why are you so dead-set in getting a new boyfriend?”
Mark: “Please, stop it”.
He said: “You’re just hunkier than me but you won’t be able to pinned me down!”
She said: “Popoy, please go home!”
He said: “I love you so much and it is so painful”!
——————————-
How do you move on…
when you realized that HE is still the one, but then he got someone new..
She said: “I am the one who wanted it, right? but why does it hurt so much?
She said: “The truth is, up to this day, I am still hoping that you’ll tell me that I am still the one, let me be the one, let me be your only one again.”
He said: “She loved me at my worst. You had me at my best and you chose to break my heart…”
For anyone who has loved and lost…

~SPRING~

Who is rich and who is poor?

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what you have learned from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, “Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have!

"Life is too short and friends are too few."

THANK GOD, I HAVE SEASONS TOO!!!

Spring's Prayer

Lord,

I’ve asked you one thing and you showered me more than I could think of. And now…It’s my turn

It has been how many months (November 28, 2007) and it's now I know it's time for a circle of appreciation

Now, it’s time for me to give back the blessings a praises. Attend to the real reason why I join Seasons. Perhaps, too late for me but not for You

You might have placed me here in Seasons: To make me ready for a bigger world. To make me more confident and more efficient. To develop more of my sense of responsibility towards other people

But I could never be ME without You and the other Seasons that I am with. The three of them who taught me how to walk until I could run

Let these three people understand and feel that they are not forgotten - Summer, Winter, Autumn

Summer For letting me experienced a selfless love even just for while. My imperfections have been molded. Through him, I have learned to accept reality - that sometimes, we just really have to be thankful for what we have and not ask for anything more

Winter For understanding and patience. The warmth of his sweetness The ever-boring jokes that made us laugh. Life could never be as happy Unless I live it, the Winter way - simple but with directions.

Autumn Which took me only a day to know how great he works, my salute. Who might frown at times, but whose laughter would say, “everything’s gonna be alright.” He really is The Doctor. He is The Healer.

Summer, Winter, Autumn Who despite the heavy loads, We're able to give friendship and kept our generosity

That though we won’t be seeing each other that often. May we value the times. The triumphs and struggles. Simply, the Seasons' way

It’s my pleasure to spend life with them! Bless them. Guide them!

Amen.

As Good As It Gets

A year ago I made this post about my then 2-year relationship. Basically I wanted more than what the person could offer. I knew I was loved, but I wanted to feel that I was, not just know.

I let go of that person then. But that was the person I really really wanted things to work out with. I wanted be content with what I had. I tried to rationalize that physical expressions of affection - hugs, cuddles, kisses, an arm on your shoulder was not as important as loyalty and KNOWING that I am loved.

But I couldn't be content. I let go. I wasn't the only one who got hurt.

Now, after a year we crossed paths again. Everything feels the same. I haven't lost any feelings I had before. Everything and everyone around me just vanishes whenever we're together. I know I've been missed as well. I know that we both want to say that things will be the same again.

Nothing has changed. That's what's holding me back. Nothing has changed. I am still loved but I want to feel it, too.

There's always this question: "would you rather be with someone you love? or with someone who loves you?" - I always answer, "with the one I love."

Then why is it so difficult now?

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting
and autumn a mosaic of them all.
-Stanley Horowitz

PANAHON

Sa aming anyo kayo'y di magtataka..

sa aming ugali mang iba iba..

tunay na pagkakaibigan ang nasimulan..

magkakaiba man ang nakagisnan..

sabihin man ng iba,

kami'y mga isnabero..

ngunit ugali nami'y sadyang maginoo.

hahaha... teka.. lubha yatang akong naging makata..

nawa'y wag mabahala at ituloy lamang ang inyong pagbasa..

nagsimula ang aming samahan ng ako at si SPRING

ay makapagkwentuhan.. nakilala ang bawat isa

at naging magkaibigan...

namasdan naming itong si AUTUMN..

na may busilak na kalooban..

at naisama na sa aming samahan..

hanggang si SUMMER ay nakilala..

nakagaanan na din ng loob.

sa bawat lakad na kay saya...

sa mga tawanan na nauubusan ng hininga..

sa lungkot na dinaranas ng isa..

nadarama ng bawat isa...

lubos akong nagagalak..

sa lakad ng aking buhay

silay nakadaupang palad..

nawa'y magatagal ang aming samahan..

magkaiba man ang panahon na aming kinaroroonan..

mga kapatid ko... mahal ko kayew....

......WINTER.....

Seasons: the Beginning

They say that one reason people become good friends is if they come together during difficult times. Maybe that was the reason we became good friends. Summer I was already acquainted with, but I don't recall how I got acquainted with Spring and Winter (maybe they'll give their own version). I guess it was during Spring's birthday and the issues that followed.

Anyhow, I was having trouble with my relationship. Spring was frustrated with his and I think Winter just wanted to go out that Saturday night..... (hey guys can we post what happened here? hehe).

A few days later, Summer suddenly showed up. He was also having problems with his personal life... and so Seasons was formed.

Of course that's the short version of the story - see future posts for details :)

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting
and autumn a mosaic of them all.
-Stanley Horowitz